I'm in Hell

It's hot here. Actually, it's hotter than hot. Friday's temperature was around 105 degrees with no breeze whatsoever and today it was 95.

Before we left to go to the annual Microsoft picnic today, we closed all of the downstairs windows. I wanted my crap still here when we got home. My thought was that if someone was going to pick a day to break into people's houses, today would be perfect. Everyone has their windows open and a lot of people aren't home. They're smart. They are wandering around the air conditioned stores pretending to shop.

In our coat closet downstairs, we found a hinged door that leads to the crawlspace beneath the house. We have also found that when said door is open, it is basically like a small A/C unit for the immediate area around the closet. So, before we left, Cullen opened that door and placed a baby gate in the door frame so that Mikayla couldn't fall down the hole.

When we got home we heard Gizmo meowing. Cullen starting walking down the hallway and I said, "I bet you he jumped in the hole." Cullen grabbed a flashlight and peered over the edge into the darkness. He immediately spotted Gizmo.

"You are such a stupid ass cat. What cat, who is afraid of the dark, would jump four feet down into a dark hole?" (Yes, Gizzie is afraid of the dark.)

Cullen grabbed the ironing board and lowered it into the hole to make Gizmo a ramp to get out. There was no way in hell either of us were going down there. Gizmo then decided that he didn't want to be rescued (or decided he was much more comfortable down there) and plopped his butt down and just stared at Cullen.

"Listen, jackass. We aren't climbing down there to get you out."

Gizzie didn't raise a paw.

"You asshole! You just let me know when you're out and I'll come move the gate."

Mikayla was watching this whole thing unfold. She was upset that her kitty cat was stuck and kept trying to help Daddy by calling for Gizmo, "Ass. Here, Ass!"

She now thinks that Ass is his name. Lovely.