Ahhhhh...Now Isn't That Refreshing?

A few weeks ago a friend* of mine was over at the house watching some TV with us. Mikyala was running around so I picked her up. When I did, I noticed that it felt like she was carrying the Gulf of Mexico in her diaper. I grabbed a diaper, the wipes and some butt cream and placed her on the ground. I took off the velcro and started wiping her bottom with a wipe. She hates having her diaper changed. She screams as if I'm holding her down and ripping her skin off piece by piece. My friend* stared down at me with the most horrified expression.

"I can't believe you use those things on her!"

"What?"

"The wipes! Have you tried them? They hurt like a sonofabitch!"

"What to you mean they hurt? No they don't."

"Yes, they do."

"No they don't. They're made to go on babies hoo-hoos and butts. They're basically just a soft wipe and water."

"They sting!"

"You are crazy! I've used them before when we ran out of toilet paper and they were fine!"

"I saw them in the bathroom once at our house and used them to wipe. It was like pouring acid on my ass. It burned and felt like a fire was going on my butt."

His wife, Maureen*, was listening and said, "The wipes in our bathroom next to the toilet?"

"Yeah. Those"

"Those were Lysol Cleaning Wipes, you idiot."

Holy, mother of god...that must have hurt like hell.

* Names changed to protect the innocent...? Maybe stupid is more like it.